Religious custody dispute over, dad to attend Easter Mass with daughter
LISA DONOVAN
Cook County Sun Times
Apr 23, 2011 10:57PM
As he prepares to take his young daughter to Easter Mass for the first time, Chicago father Joseph Reyes said the Resurrection of Christ and the symbolism of new life is not lost on him.
“It has a lot of meaning for me, to be completely honest,” Reyes told the Sun-Times last week. “For the first time I’m able to observe this holiday and a very important part of who I am with my daughter without fear of being persecuted for that.”
Last Easter, a judge denied Reyes’ request to take his young daughter to mass, citing a temporary order preventing him from “exposing” Ela to any other religion than the Jewish faith. The order was part of an ugly divorce and custody battle between Reyes, who is Roman Catholic, and his then-wife Rebecca, who is Jewish.
The case grabbed national attention after Reyes, who lives in Mount Greenwood on the Southwest Side, had the girl baptized at a Catholic Church in November 2009, and his estranged wife took him to court.
Rebecca Reyes’ attorneys argued the couple agreed to raise the girl in the Jewish faith and that Joseph had converted to Judaism when the girl was born.
Joseph Reyes, a 36-year-old law student who works for his attorney in the case, Joel Brodsky, doesn’t deny the agreement during happier times, but said he returned to his Catholic roots once the couple split.
Today, with the divorce and custody battle in the rear-view mirror — and the court order effectively lifted — Reyes said he now simply wants to share his faith with his daughter. But at age 4, does she understand the tenets of Catholicism or the meaning of Easter?
“I think that she has a very elementary understanding of it. I know I did at her age. And Ela is a very, very bright girl,” he said.
This won’t be the girl’s first time at mass. They’ve been attending on weekends when he has custody. But this Sunday, he says, is special because it will be the first time father and daughter attend mass on one of the holiest days on the Catholic calendar.
Reyes bought his little girl a nice spring dress and a new tiara, a favorite accessory of the 4 year old’s to wear for early Easter morning mass at Queen of Martyrs Roman Catholic Church in south suburban Evergreen Park, the church where she was baptized.
Afterward there will be a brunch with family, including Joseph’s parents, siblings and some cousins who are Ela’s age.
Of course there will be some secular celebrations — an Easter Egg hunt on Saturday, and she’ll be given an Easter basket on Sunday.
Ela, who attends a Jewish school, also celebrated Passover last week, her father said.
The child’s mother did not return a call for comment. Laura Ashmore, Rebecca Reyes’ attorney in the case, declined to comment.
Asked whether the doctrinal differences might be confusing to the girl, Joseph Reyes said the girl is simply too young to understand. And he’s trying to raise her to understand and respect the faiths of both parents.
“We’ll talk about Passover, we’ll talk about Christmas, we’ll talk about Easter. I really want Ela to appreciate these holidays. I don’t want to talk about differences. I think religion is a spectrum. It’s sad people in the world use religion to divide,” Reyes said. “We live in a diverse, multicultural society. It’s important we appreciate the variety.”
Repenting and forgiveness are two strong themes in both religions and they’re something Reyes thinks about as he looks back at his marriage and very public divorce and moves forward as a single parent.
“I’ve put it behind me. I imagine a day will come that what has transpired will come before Ela’s eyes, and I hope Ela can forgive us,” Reyes said.
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