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by Burt  Prelutsky Email  | Archive

Even when you write as often as I do, you can’t really keep up with all the  zaniness that passes for the news today.  But I can’t help trying.

For instance, there were only three senators who voted against confirming  John Kerry, who not only lied about his service and his injuries in Vietnam, but  then lied about throwing away his medals.  He not only kept his medals, but had  them framed on the wall of his Senate office.  It was other people’s medals he  tossed for the benefit of the cameras.  In any case, I thought it was worth  looking into, and I discovered that the three senators who had the courage of  their convictions, and deserved to be lauded, were John Cornyn, James Inhofe and  Ted Cruz.

Let me first state so that there is no confusion, I respect the members of  the military.  After all, the main order of business for the federal government  is not, as liberals insist, funding green energy companies, handing out free  stuff in exchange for votes or promoting abortions and same-sex marriages.   Instead, it is to protect the nation, and it’s the military that handles that  end of things.  That being said, I do not believe it provides veterans with a  lifetime pass from criticism.  I actually heard a senator state that Chuck Hagel  should not have had to face such tough questions at his confirmation hearing  because he had not only served in the military, but had been wounded in  combat.

Just because people have served – some more honorably than others—is no  guarantee that they will be anything special once they return to civilian life.   After all, Charles Rangel, John Murtha, Colin Powell, David Petraeus, John  McCain, Daniel Inouye and Ted Kennedy, along with Chuck Hagel, have not only  been shown to have feet of clay, but in some cases have shown themselves to be  covered in muck all the way to the top of their heads.

Proof that liberals aren’t really concerned with gun violence is that they  keep yammering about the size of magazines, but have said nothing about taking  on the urban gangs responsible for most of the murders in America.  Their  hypocrisy is even more apparent when you realize that every city whose streets  are bloody because of the hands-off approach politicians take with these punks  is saddled with a liberal mayor.

It’s apparent that when the same people who wish to disarm law-abiding  Americans turn a blind eye to the black and Hispanic gangs that terrorize their  communities, they adopt a hands-off approach to guns only when they regard them  as tools of the criminal trade.

In the aftermath of Chris Kyle, the former Navy SEAL super sniper, and his  friend being murdered at a Texas shooting range, Dan Parker wrote to say he  assumed that, henceforth, the Democrats would designate shooting ranges as  gun-free zones.  And I say, “Why wouldn’t they?”  After all, they had already  designated an Army base, Fort Hood, a gun-free-zone, thus making it available to  Maj. Hasan for target practice.

The funniest thing to come out of the gun debate was the photo of Barack  Obama allegedly skeet shooting at Camp David.  Even I, who haven’t fired a rifle  since my days in the ROTC, know that you don’t hold a rifle that high up on your  shoulder, and you certainly don’t aim it straight-on when skeet shooting, as if  your target were Rush Limbaugh or Sean Hannity.  Skeets, as we all know, are  airborne.  Firing at the angle shown in the photo, the only thing Obama would  have hit was the poor schmuck working the skeet release.  You would think that  Team Obama would do a better job of it even if they were merely Photoshopping  the picture in order to show that Obama’s trumped-up war on guns was nothing  personal.

As you may have heard, it has been announced that the FBI is looking into  allegations that Sen. Robert Menendez has engaged in sexual activity with  under-age Dominican prostitutes.  He denies it, insisting it’s a tissue of lies  concocted by a cabal of right-wingers.

As Americans, we are supposed to believe he’s innocent until proven guilty.   And I’m sure that those who park their common sense at the curb will give him  the benefit of the doubt.  But not I.  For one thing, why else would anyone go  there as often as he has, except to do nasty things he can’t get away with  closer to home?  For another, when is the last time there’s been a rumor about a  politician engaged in unsavory sexual activity that hasn’t been proven true?

Just a partial list – a very partial list limited to those you’ve probably  heard of – includes Anthony Weiner, David Wu, Eric Massa, David Petraeus, John  Ensign, John Edwards, Ted and Jack Kennedy, Chris Dodd, Newt Gingrich, Larry  Craig, Mark Foley, Gary Condit, Strom Thurmond, Mel Reynolds, Henry Hyde, Gary  Hart, Wayne Hayes, Jesse Jackson, Wilbur Mills, FDR, Warren G. Harding and even  Alexander Hamilton.

For good measure, there was President James Buchanan and Franklin Pierce’s  V.P., William Rufus King, a couple whom Andrew Jackson, not the most politically  correct man in the world, jokingly referred to as Miss Nancy and Aunt Fancy.

Finally, if there has ever been a person in our lifetime who best exemplified  what it means to be a devout liberal, it is probably Jane Fonda, whose actual  birth name was Lady Jane Seymour Fonda.  Not only did she go out of her way to  lend aid and comfort to our enemy in Vietnam – (“Hanoi Jane,” you must agree, is  a lot catchier than Lady Jane Seymour Fonda) – but her personal hypocrisy is of  Olympian proportions.

Just recently, I discovered that she was the third choice to star in “The  Exorcist.”  The first, Audrey Hepburn, agreed to play the role that eventually  went to Ellen Burstyn, but only if it were shot in Italy, where she was then  living.  Next was Anne Bancroft, who turned down the role only because she had  just discovered she was pregnant.

It was at that point, after two of the best actresses in the world had passed  with regrets, that it was offered to Fonda.  She turned it down by phoning the  head of Warner Brothers and demanding to know why he would want to make “a piece  of capitalist rip-off bulls–t like this.”

To grasp the full, self-aggrandizing impact of that statement, you have to  keep in mind that this self-anointed moral arbiter had already starred in  “Barbarella,” the execrable sex fantasy directed by her first husband, Roger  Vadim, and would soon go on to make millions of dollars with a series of silly  exercise DVDs she peddled with the sort of single-mindedness usually reserved to  used car salesmen, televangelists and Bill O’Reilly.

It wasn’t until some years later that she hit the trifecta of liberal  hypocrisy when she tied the knot with billionaire goofball capitalist Ted  Turner.

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Special note: I have been approached to host an Internet talk-radio show.  The only hang-up is that it requires a certain level of sponsorship in order to  get started.

 

If you own a company, sell a product or provide a service, or if you know  someone – preferably someone dedicated to conservatism – who owns a company,  sells a product or provides a service, who would be willing to consider  sponsoring my show, please contact me at [email protected], and I will be  happy to answer any and all questions.