Jarasans Blog

Just the facts.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Some Rodney jokes to lighten the mood.

I miss Rodney Dangerfield. He got no respect, I could relate.

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me
to time an egg.

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, Yet
she won't drink from my glass!

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy
negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home."
I Went over. Nobody was home!

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are
you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself
now."

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's
when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.

I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex
Offenders.

& nbsp; My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen
the roaches hang themselves.

I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for
mooning.

The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked
"Why?" He said "Because you came home early."

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the
Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex; she called me from
Chicago last night.

posted by jarasan # 4:28 PM

Comments:

You goota love him...Funny!

My wife asked me to take the garbage out.
I said you cooked it you take it out.

I have no sex life..... Last night I asked a hooker ...will you show me a good time for a hundred bucks.
She said not on the first date.

# posted by pacattack05 : 4:37 PM

I saw him in Vegas in 1981. I always thought he was very funny. But did you see him in Natural Born Killers?

# posted by justxploring : 7:31 PM

I might have but not sure....justxploring....

His buggy eyes just got my gut hurting from laughing so hard....

# posted by pacattack05 : 7:48 PM

jx: That is great you got to see him live, I bet you smile everytime you think of that show. I saw natural born killers once and don't rememeber what role he played.

# posted by jarasan : 8:48 PM

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