Petticoat Junction
"Come ride a little train as it's rollin' down the tracks to the Junction-- Petticoat Junction"
Uncle Joe: You betcha it does, only telephone between Hooterville and Pixley. I was the one that got it and put it in–
Homer Bedloe: Never mind that. Where is it?
Homer Bedloe: Just tell me where it is!
Uncle Joe: Go through that door and it's on your wall to the right.
Homer Bedloe: [Inserts a coin in the phone] Hello Operator? Hello? Hello? Operator! Operator!
Uncle Joe: Whatcha tryin' to do Mister?
Homer Bedloe: What's it look like I'm trying to do? I'm trying to get the operator.
Uncle Joe: You ain't gonna get her on that phone.
Homer Bedloe: Why not?
Uncle Joe: Ain't connected
Homer Bedloe: What do you mean?
Uncle Joe: Ain't no telephone wires to connect it to.
Homer Bedloe: What's it doin' here then?
Uncle Joe: Gives the hotel class. That's the only telephone between Hooterville and Pixley.
Homer Bedloe: Why didn't you tell me that outside?
Uncle Joe: Well I did start, but you cut me off–
Homer Bedloe: Never mind that now. Where can I wash my hands?
Uncle Joe: Second floor.
[Homer steps into the elevator]
Myna bird: Second floor, going up. Step back, step back in the car please"
[Homer follows the bird's instructions.]
Uncle Joe: Whatcha doin' in there mister?
Homer Bedloe: I'm going up to the second floor.
Uncle Joe: Not in that elevator you ain't.
Homer Bedloe: What do you mean?
Uncle Joe: Ain't connected.
Homer Bedloe: Oh my acing ulcer.
Myna bird: Going up, going up.
Uncle Joe: She's a myna bird. Only myna bird between Hooterville and Pixley.
Homer Bedloe: Answer me a question. What have you got an elevator for that doesn't run?
Uncle Joe: Gives the hotel class. That's the only elevator--
Homer Bedloe: Oh shut up.
Uncle Joe: Don't worry ‘bout the washroom it's connected.
Download the famous theme song by Curt Massey in .MP3 format. (866 kB)
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